FRIENDS

I have a lot of friends. I've been referred to as a "social butterfly" on many occasions... (What does "social butterfly" really mean anyway?) But I've been thinking a lot recently about those relationships that mean the most to me. The soul-mates that hold me accountable, the friendships that speak into my life, and the relationships that draw me to God. I love to see God in people. If I find a soul that draws me closer to God, they will be my friend for life. No matter what. I will cherish that relationship.

I am blessed with so many of these. I am surrounded by so many breaths of fresh air...

God's been good to me

Hangers

Tonight I attended the Walla Walla Symphony's dress rehearsal with my wonderful parents. As a child, symphonies put me to sleep and I would spend the entire performance getting elbowed in the ribs by family members because of my slumbering noises. It's not that I didn't appreciate the symphony. Not at all! But the humming of strings accompanied with the brazen noises of brass and the rhythmic patterns of tympani mallets had a calming, lulling affect on me that no other music had. I had hoped that as I grew I would become less prone to my sleepy symphonic episodes, but tonight found me struggling to keep my eyes open as I sleepily read the textbook propped up against my legs. It was time to come back to my cubicle of a dorm room and let slumber claim me in its proper place: my bed.

Being as tired I was, I took the elevator to the 7th floor of Foreman Hall with two other traveling companions. The elevator ride is relatively long compared to the average elevator ride because everything in Foreman hall is old and decrepit... Except, perhaps the people in it... The long ride means that Sacha Kravig must make more conversation because I hate the awkward "I-don't-know-who-you-are-but-I'm-gonna-try-not-to-stare-at-you-across-this-little-box-because-even-though-we-both-go-to-the-same-school-and-see-each-other-rather-often-in-this-elevator-I-don't-actually-know-you-and-I-don't-want-you-to-think-I'm-a-stalker" mentality that always accompanies long elevator rides in the dorm. Glancing around for some conversation starter, I noticed something in the corner of the elevator... it was a hanger. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a hanger... Like, the kind you use to hold clothes in a closet. A white, wire hanger abandoned by some poor soul who saw no real purpose for it and chose to leave it alone and helpless in the great wide world of the elevator. I stared at it for a moment and then stooped down to pick it up. Holding it up just above eye level I paused and then said out loud, "Curious." The three of us began to make up stories deciding what a hanger in an elevator would be good for. We laughed, cried, and generally had a merry time until the elevator stopped on the 7th floor and we all exited.

I am now in my dorm room. Ready to fall asleep. There is a white wire hanger on the wall above my desk. And there are two new friends of mine living on the floor above my head. Friendships found on a hanger. Friendships hung on a hanger... Let's appreciate the little things. Like little white wire hangers trapped in slow elevators in Foreman Hall.

eat pray love

Eat. Pray. Love.

Having watched the movie and now attempting to read the book, I have come to some undeniable conclusions. Sacha Kravig is Elizabeth Gilbert.

Looking back at the movie “eat pray love” and realizing just how much of myself was compacted into those short 133 minutes, I wonder that I didn’t cry or become excessively terrified as I watched it. Looking back, I almost wish I had. But, instead, I am offered the same odd feeling one gets after watching movies like “Julie and Julia,” or “My Fair Lady,” or perhaps “Persuasion.” This queer feeling that you should have been in that story somewhere... that perhaps a deeper pondering of that story will unleash some hidden wonder in your own life. You hope that perhaps your own biography will someday contain hints of the enchantment your found in the lives of your strong female heroes. Or perhaps your strong female nemesis...

I found that I don’t always like the people I resemble. Usually I am scared of them and vow that I’ll never become like them. And then, later on down the road, I find myself looking at these people I loathe and feeling like I’m gazing into a mirror. Luckily for me, I do not loathe Elizabeth Gilbert. Luckily for me, as I watched “eat pray love,” I didn’t mind seeing a mirror...

I did not come out with an urge to travel the world. Surprisingly. I did not come out with some insane desire to go find the man of my dreams on some enchanted evening... Also surprising. But I did come out desiring to find myself. I came out realising that all of the restlessness on earth, and all of the traveling this world can offer won’t teach me who I am. It will just keep me running... I do need to breathe deeper, take in more, and care about people more, troubles less. But most of all, I need to be able to look into the mirror of my soul and not be afraid. I need to stop squinting. I need to open my eyes wide, take a breath, and be ready for the person I will see. I need to stop loathing, I need to stop comparing, I need to stop... just stop. Stop and listen. Stop and see. And then move on, and become what I’ve always dreamed.

I don’t think that my dream personality will be found half the world away... I think it’s here in my room. I just have to be ready to embrace it.

The Redeemed:

Those who received their sight

Who have jumped up and walked at the Master’s touch

They’ve chosen to brave the eye of the needle

They are leaders of children

Those who slave for all people

They sing to the Glorious One

They’ve found the Answer

They have left everything to follow Him

Their lives declare Him holy

They’ve cried out for mercy

They realise that they cannot save themselves

Those who seek peace

They are ever taught, ever instructed

All have realized that none are good... only God

Those who have seen the demons cast out of their lives

The saints of God, serving the Holy One of Heaven. They’ve found their hope... hear them, rising up to praise the King. And I? I want to be with the Holy.. I want to be at His side..

suspension.

Say anything but say what you mean

watered down

Last night a friend called. On Skype, of course, because I don't have a phone here. I hadn't talk with them for a while, so there was a lot to catch up on. After all the inside jokes were used up, the one liners were all old, and as the yawns got more and more frequent, the subject matter turned. And it turned toward my favorite topic... my God

We discussed how the world waters down Jesus. How we second guess God. The devil doesn't need to make us mass murderers to keep us out of heaven, he can just give us a fake, watered down, twisted version of the truth that gives some strange sense of security. Misplaced security... We discussed the way that Christians forget the miraculous they forget the God behind the God-man, and they neutralize the gospel. "Christ in me, the hope of glory" becomes "I'm in church, I'm obeying rules, why isn't my life going perfectly?"

My friend was so tired of the pastors, preachers, and minsters who can stand at the pulpit and preach a gospel that is only half there. These lukewarm doctrines that feel good... or, at least, feel comfortable. Leaders who seem so ashamed of the gospel, and so unaware of whom they believe that pretty soon no on even cares, and the purpose is completely forgotten. Morality, purity, and faith go down the tubes with church attendance. People are lost, hope is lost, and Jesus just stands there with arms wide open, ready to chase us again.

As we talked, I started thinking about all of the people I know who have headed down that road. Who walked off into the world of comfortable doctrine, and were swallowed by the sea of lukewarm. Lost to all feeling, and passion, they're paddling about, looking for the next ship. Ships that make them feel like they're going somewhere. Robbed of all purpose, life becomes grey and fogged over. Erased steps in a world of sand. I started crying. I thought of friends I know and love who don't want to drink it straight. They want the watered down version...

Paul says that the gospel of Jesus Christ is water to a dry and thirsty world. So why do we try to make it look like something else? Every human heart needs water, so why do we think they won't be attracted. The pure, unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ is what every soul craves. In the core of every being is a hunger. And no watered down, twisted, mislabeled version of the truth of salvation is going to satisfy that.

I'm so glad I had a friend to have that conversation with. I'm glad that others want more. Lukewarm will never do...

EQUATIONS

by Sacha Kravig

Oh the arithmetic of life

How many are lost

How many fall

How many decide... oh, how they decide

Decisions, decisions

Spinning our world

The globes of time, governed by equations

The minds of men, governed by sensations

Oh the arithmetic of life

How you move me

How you thrill me

How you fear me

And I fear you

Your everlasting monotone

The cadence that flows freely

And the rhythm that kills slowly

And slowly lives. Slowly gives life

Arithmetic. Breath.

And still we believe.

We believe in something more

We endlessly open doors

We ponder equations,

We experience sensations.

We live... believe

Oh the arithmetic of life

Oh the arithmetic of war

The battle of equations

The lifetime of sensations