I've had the book of Hebrews on my mind a lot... So I really wasn't surprised when my friend Emily Caulk advised that I listen to a Misty Edwards sermon entitle "Hebrews 12." I was excited. Hebrews 12 being one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, and Misty Edwards being one of my favorite people... EVER... set up a wonderful afternoon in my dorm room with my laptop, Bible, and headphones.
I've felt a lot of prying recently... Like God has pulled out his tool chest and He's about to crack open the Precious Moments box I have hidden under my bed. It's full of the things I forget about, the things I'll never admit to on my own, and the apathy that I keep tucked away for a rainy day. I get pretty defensive of that little box... But I'll never admit to that either. I keep telling God that I want Him to lay it all bare and to get the junk out of my life. But then I don't know what to do with it, how to remove it, or even what it is sometimes... Hebrews 12 is a smack-in-the-face chapter. I like that. For being a pacifist, I appreciate it when God gets violent in our relationship...
I feel alive.
I feel cared for.
I feel like someone is paying attention to my wandering compass, my misguided idea of a good time... my rainy day apathy.
I like it when He tells me that He's not okay with it. That He's not okay with me. there. lost. hurt. jaded.
Listening to Misty talk about Hebrews 12 was a wonderful, beautiful, needed smack in the face. But now I'm left with this odd sense that I don't know what to do with my newly stirred passion, my opened eyes, or my realization of Jesus. And maybe that's the point... I'm not supposed to DO anything.
Frustrating.
How do I live with my Atheist friends? Why can't I keep my standards where they're supposed to be? Why do I get discouraged? When will my friend from Civilisation du Français let God encounter her? Who am I becoming? And, am I okay with it?
Why can't I stop asking questions....
I want to be a Hebrews 11 child, who takes Hebrews12 seriously... and then lives an Ephesians 1-2 life.
And I want to start now.
In France.
I've felt a lot of prying recently... Like God has pulled out his tool chest and He's about to crack open the Precious Moments box I have hidden under my bed. It's full of the things I forget about, the things I'll never admit to on my own, and the apathy that I keep tucked away for a rainy day. I get pretty defensive of that little box... But I'll never admit to that either. I keep telling God that I want Him to lay it all bare and to get the junk out of my life. But then I don't know what to do with it, how to remove it, or even what it is sometimes... Hebrews 12 is a smack-in-the-face chapter. I like that. For being a pacifist, I appreciate it when God gets violent in our relationship...
I feel alive.
I feel cared for.
I feel like someone is paying attention to my wandering compass, my misguided idea of a good time... my rainy day apathy.
I like it when He tells me that He's not okay with it. That He's not okay with me. there. lost. hurt. jaded.
Listening to Misty talk about Hebrews 12 was a wonderful, beautiful, needed smack in the face. But now I'm left with this odd sense that I don't know what to do with my newly stirred passion, my opened eyes, or my realization of Jesus. And maybe that's the point... I'm not supposed to DO anything.
Frustrating.
How do I live with my Atheist friends? Why can't I keep my standards where they're supposed to be? Why do I get discouraged? When will my friend from Civilisation du Français let God encounter her? Who am I becoming? And, am I okay with it?
Why can't I stop asking questions....
I want to be a Hebrews 11 child, who takes Hebrews12 seriously... and then lives an Ephesians 1-2 life.
And I want to start now.
In France.
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