I love driving. My favorite time to drive is at night. So, I was exceedingly happy to find myself driving from Spokane to Walla Walla late last Saturday night. Aside from the deer I almost hit and the crazy trucker-man I met at a dimly lit gas station, it was rather uneventful; Unless the word “uneventful” carries the same meaning as the word “boring” for you. Because that would be wrong. It was one of the most wonderful drives to Walla Walla I’ve had in a long time. By a matter of chance, I was in the company of a friend. Before the trip I would have referred to him as an acquaintance … but now he is a friend.
We spent the entire three hour drive simply talking. It never got boring, it never seemed purposeless— it was good old conversation. And most of it was on my favorite subject: Jesus. Even if I had space on this column page, I couldn’t begin to relate to you the full extent of our conversation – or even come close. But I want to stir up some thoughts in your own heads about one subject discussed during the midnight drive through the Palouse mountains last weekend.
I’m an active person. I need to be DOING things … If I find myself with a lack of things to do or a lack of purpose to guide my “doings,” I feel lost, alone, and depressed. This applies to my spiritual life as well. I continually have this idea that I have to be finding bigger and better actions, or a bigger and better purpose for my actions. I’m always afraid that what I want to do isn’t what God wants me to do. And then I’m afraid to move … My decisions concerning next year have been riddled with these problems and questions. Where does God want me? What am I supposed to be doing? If I go here or there, will I be outside of His will? Where will this or that take me? Where will I be fulfilled? Where can I minister to others most effectively? All of these questions have plagued my mind. And I’m tired of it.
I was lamenting my sorrows about this subject when my friend said some important things. He started sharing parts of his life story. He started telling me about his own struggles with his purpose and calling. This is a friend who I have always looked up to and respected spiritually. I’ve been jealous of how much he has worked for God and traveled around the world. But he started telling me how it’s not that easy. He is close to many people who run around the world doing even bigger and better things for God. Their lives are just walking testimonies of how much God can accomplish through one individual. And he feels completely overshadowed by their lives.
But over the years, he has come to realize something. He’s realized that those friends can’t do what he does. Those friends don’t have the same loves and passions and callings that he has. And He doesn’t have their loves, passions, and callings. Neither of them could trade places. And God’s not worried about that. God isn’t up in heaven wringing His hands because Sacha Kravig can’t decided where she wants to go to school next year. And He’s not freaking out because I haven’t written a book or toured the world preaching to millions about Jesus. He’s not afraid of my fears. And He’s not afraid of my desires. In fact, He GAVE ME my desires. Our desires are gifts and we need to realize that. We can’t be afraid to follow our desires. If there’s something that I love and it’s a wholesome love, then that’s from God and diving into it is His plan for my life. He wants me to do what I love, He wants me to enjoy where I’m at and He wants me to be fulfilled. The joy we find in life is all centered in Him. So don’t be afraid of joy! He’s the Father of love! He’s the Father of joy! It all comes from Him and it can lead you right back around to Him. It’s less complex than we think it is. And that’s hard for me to grasp. But I’m trying … I’m reaching. Stop worrying about doing things … Let’s try looking for joy.
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